Notice I title it LEARN to Let It Go. Periodically (like once every 6 months) I watch an episode of 20 Kids and Counting on Netflix. You know, the Duggar family that has so many kids and they drive a big bus everywhere and spend like amazing amounts of money at the grocery store? One of my favorite quotes from that show is something Michelle, the mom, said regarding their music lessons. Her saying is "Practice makes progress". That has stuck with me and periodically I will remind the kiddos of that simple truth. There is no progress without practice though, and almost always no progress without a bit of failure, or at least reaching beyond your comfort level into the zone where you might possible fail, or in my case, not get the pictures I knew we could get.
Last week I had the privilege of taking pictures of a sweet family that drove all the way from Midland to see me :). My mom's reaction was "Wow!". Silly mom, she didn't know I was so famous (ha ha). It was time for this particular group's annual treck to SA for photos.
The shoot went beautifully. Their family is amazing and so photo friendly. The girls are so well behaved and just sweet little girls, even if the oldest did MAKE me call her Elsa. I was ok with that. I would rather be the kiddos friend while I'm trying to photograph them. A child that's scared of you does not make for a good photo subject. So, you know, let it go!
*Notice Elsa. If Mom is Ok with it, I'm Ok with it. I have a
favorite maternity photo of mine where #2 is holding
a little tiny plastic cow. It brings back those moments for me
almost like the smell of crayons!
This is the part where I reveal to you the difficulties in this shoot and how we overcame them. Anyone who has been a photographer for any amount of time knows that there really is no "perfect" or seamless shoot. And if there is, that means you probably didn't try something new. Other than the humidity and these poor folks dressing as if it were late fall for the sake of a Christmas card photo, the little sister did NOT want to take pictures by herself. I had her pick flowers and we tried engaging her making her laugh, but nothing worked to get beyond her serious face. Some children are in a constant state of observation and their face reflects this. They aren't sad or mean; maybe more quiet than most because they are just soaking up their surroundings like a sponge, so that's what I want to capture. But when I saw this little girl play with her mom and her sister, and the fact that she would smile and hold my hand and we were "tight"(!) while walking from one shooting area to another, I knew she was hiding the personality and the soul I wanted to capture. I knew that the only answer would be to take photos while her mom was playing with her, maybe even in them. Let it go!
She reminds me so much of my #2 child (yep, the infamous "middle"). Quiet, observant, painfully shy, but such a huge heart that usually only the under-dogs of a group get a quick glimpse of. She has a sassy posed red carpet side, but you'll only see it during a full moon or a long shower. So the mom held her, swung her, played with her and we got some sweet shots of a real smile. I love capturing those smiles because they are unique to a moment between a mother and daughter. In some instances the differences between that smile and a tickle smile or another one I can stir up are small, but these are the details a mother (and others close to them) will appreciate after seeing the finished product.
So keep this in mind for your next family photo or the next time you shoot. If a child is not cooperating with individual shots, my philosophy is that pushing them continually just makes it worse to the point of no return! Don't resist letting the parents hold them while you shoot. Just may warm them up enough that they'll want to do it!
What are your thoughts or common struggles with family shoots and how do you handle them?